Dear Abby
John Prine
Dear Abby, Dear Abby, my feet are too long
My hair's fallin' out and my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me are no friends at all
Won't you write me a letter, won't you give me a call
Signed, "Bewildered"

Chorus:
Bewildered, Bewildered, you have no complaint
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up buster and listen up good
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood

Dear Abby, Dear Abby my fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
If it weren't so expensive, I'd wish I were dead
Signed, "Unhappy"

Chorus:
Unhappy, Unhappy......

Dear Abby, Dear Abby you won't believe this
But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss
My girlfriend tells me it's all in my head
But my stomach just tells me to write you instead
Signed, "Noise-maker"

Chorus:
Noise-maker, Noise-maker......

Dear Abby, Dear Abby well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sittin' in the back seat just shootin' the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed, "Just Married"

Chorus:
Just Married, Just Married you have no complaint
You are what you are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up buster and listen up good
Stop wishin' for bad luck and knockin' on wood

Sig-ned......Dear Abby

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